30

Thirty: the year of relinquishment. In only the most optimistic, freeing sense.

Pushing through & demanding victory at all costs does not heed the desires I have any longer. I enjoy winning & beating everyone but my dad at HORSE in basketball but this isn’t what I mean by resignation. I mean melding into the new person I’m becoming. having little expectation this first year of a new decade. Nothing grand. Not quite “back to the drawing board” & not quite “full steam ahead”!

I want my family healthy, celebrations modest, & our hearts full but not at the expense of others. Not a pause but a silent reworking.

Shifting like sand on a breezy day. when walking the dune gives question to your location on the way back through. the path shifted while you were in awe of the lake in front of you.

Relinquish:
+ rules no longer fruitful
+ traits no longer defining
+ goals out of habit
+ the constant search for balance

make room for old traits with a new outlook. Daily. I geared up for surrender to what was meant for me last year when I alluded to a “ghost year”. It brought me a harvest moon pregnancy, a step towards an environmentalist career, a strawberry moon baby, deeper depths in love, & an *almost* debt-free existence.

relinquishment to myself - Emily Grace, let it unfold. These untouched layers yet within you. You thought you knew it all. The path for you. The goals to reach. Yet you kept finding when given the fork in the road, you were pulled to paths you’d “never” take. It was there you started finding yourself.

keep your eyes open but observe right now. old things have revived with new outlooks. Relinquish control of the outer, so you can listen to your inner. There is so much more to explore.

no need to chase it. The path will continue showing itself to you. Have faith.