Find Your Here
Truth is, I don't have a life like the ones I see on my Instagram feed and aspire to have.
I'm not a #ladyboss. I don't run my own anything (dishwasher, yes. company, no.). I'm not at home writing in the morning and cuddling my adorable baby in the afternoon (my wish, yes). We're not building our dream home with a wraparound porch and view of the water (soon Joel, soon). Or traveling to beautiful places to attend beautiful events in beautiful clothes.
It's taken me a very long time to hear this truth of mine. To really acknowledge I'm not exactly where I want to be and I can't exactly get there tomorrow. I guess I thought if I admitted this to myself I would feel I had a very long way to go and do something drastic like quit my job or chop all my hair off.
Then I realized I've already tried that.
All the quitting and chopping doesn't actually make the uncertainty of what's next go away. It lasts for a fleeting moment – when I've put in my 2 weeks or when I look in the mirror with my new hairstyle – but that nagging feeling always comes back. Listen to this song and you will be 5 steps ahead of me in this lesson. I will not go anywhere if I'm not at first, here. Maybe some of you are here too?
My here currently looks like:
Wanting my aspirations so impatiently that I frantically email, post, and text my closest network (sometimes strangers) to PICK. ME. Choose me because I follow you and know all about you on-screen, so why would we not be a perfect fit to collab on something together?! (Admittedly, this is creepy and weird. I need to stop doing this.)
Using this method to lessen my student loans so Joel & I can get on with it already. Wraparound porch, remember?
Trying to find the balance between my full-time job and my passion projects while still making time for part of me who loves nothing more than a walk in nature.
Desperately needing to know how to wear a professional outfit without losing my very hard-won, completely mismatched, style.
I'm stepping out of the arena of perfectly curated pictures and the endless wishing I was somewhere other than where I am.
Maybe you are here or right down the road from here? I want to meet you where you are because maybe we can get through it together. Maybe we can figure out how to keep working full-time without losing our spirit at 5 o'clock. Maybe we can look at all the lady bosses, mamas, writers, homemakers, and jet setters and cheer them on for living their hard-fought dreams and for showing us how to.
Let's raise a glass to each of them.
The women. Our aspirations. Both. Knowing damn well they deserve it all and have been grinding for years to get to their here. Let's not let their moments discourage us from continuing the path to ours. Let's also know mine will look different from yours will look different from hers and we all deserve them for our own reasons.
Oh, and let's also remember we can encourage each other at the same time as staying on our own path. No need for a choice between one or the other. (Funny, this is also kind of how I pray. "Oh and", "Oh and this too".) Finally, let each of us begin. I'll meet you here.
Always love. Usually tough, Em
Connected. Supported. Held. Do you need this too? Join The Yellow Collective with me, a tribe of women dedicated to their creative life while celebrating yours.
