A Mother’s Embrace

Oh, how the comma looks like a mother's embrace.

Dear reader,

A few days ago our daughter skinned her knees. She tripped on concrete, tears followed, as did the cold water, ointment, and bandage. The following day, she tripped again. On concrete, again. She opened up the same wound that wasn't yet fully healed from the first fall. As I cradled and cooed her, the parallel became clear; I too have wounds not yet healed. They've been reopened before full recovery. It almost hurts worse than the original wound because the skin is more sensitive and tender from the initial fall. The reopening compounds the pain.

And so I think I will do for me what I instinctively do for River; cleanse, salve, bandage, cradle, coo. May it be so for you if you're in a similar space. Some creative things worth sharing:

1. Many themes of childhood & family resurfacing as evident in this post, written after a difficult week transferring River from crib to bed. My neighbor saw me reading The Artist's Way at the coffee shop and said, "One of those days, huh?". Oh yes, very much yes.

2. Current notetaking system:
   • Google Keep color-coded notes
   • Brief recap of key moments in my daily planner
   • Index cards dated by month. Kind of like Anne Lamott's index card process, Austin Kleon's daily planner approach, & a touch of my own color-coding obsession. All I'm doing is scribbling notes "for later".

3. If you can't find the book you want to read, write it. I can't write a book right now so I searched a little harder for these titles on motherhood. During this motherhood search maybe it would be more truthful to say I seek books about a woman's inner life.

4. Read Sunflowers by Sheramy Bundrick, a novel based on Vincent van Gogh's final two years in Provençal France, in preparation for this exhibit. Living vicariously through expat Jamie Beck's lense until we travel there. Adding The Yellow House to my 'to be read' list.

5. This month's full moon was a total lunar eclipse in the middle of Mercury Retrograde and a big sign transition with Jupiter. So many people are trudging through this moment with difficulty. I can't say I've found any solace through it but reading about it helps.

   ...the Goddess is returning, she is making her way up, & people without eyes to see will be completely in the dark about the journey of women all around them. As the Goddess begins to make their claim on them, there will be more, rather than fewer, girls who make no sense. — A Woman's Worth by Marianne Williamson

6. Watched the first season of The Gilded Age. Aunt Agnes' and Aunt Ada's sisterly relationship is as comical as it is dysfunctional.

   Aunt Agnes: You are forcing me to reevaluate your character.
   Aunt Ada, in response: I can't help that.

7. Watched Turning Red multiple times. The symbolism is powerful, tough emotions are acknowledged, and the mother-daughter relationship is resoundingly relatable. What Jin, Mei's soft-spoken father, says to her before her ritual:

   People have all kinds of sides to them. And some sides are messy. The point isn't to push the bad stuff away. It's to make room for it, live with it. — Jin (Turning Red)

8. Listening to The Marfa Tapes and Palomino. The Marfa Tapes would sound perfect on vinyl. Top three songs:
   • I Don't Like It
   • Actin' Up
   • Country Money

9. Dipping my pinky toe in the world of letterpress but now I must get my hands dirty. Initial research has begun to acquire a press. "It's easy to forget how nearly everything printed before 1945 was produced on a letterpress of one style or another," from Letterpress Commons.
   The GVSU graphic design department has a Vandercook Composing Room cylinder, circa 1912(?) just waiting for someone to get her humming again.

10. This summer, I'll be at my favorite coffee shop near the harbor a couple of days each week. Sign up for a conversation over coffee with me if you're in town. Bring what you're working on, reading, or ideas with your art, and I'll share mine.

I love these yellow roses. Part of Jamie Beck's Rose Month in May.

Thanks for reading! See you in your inbox around the full Strawberry Moon (June 14ish).

---

Originally sent to newsletter subscribers in May 2022.