March | Life Lately
Happy March Full Moon! It’s a supermoon and the end of Mercury Retrograde, halleloo. These past few weeks have been especially tough. I’m not one to blame shitty days on planets but damn. There is a lot to feel heavy about right now which is even more crucial of a time to dig deep & rekindle faith that everything is going to be ok. I haven’t been able to do that for myself lately. I’m grateful for my circle who has been lifting me up, supporting, & encouraging me at a time I need it most. I’ve never needed it as much as I do right now. It’s life-giving to feel held as I have been. Seeing the moon high in a clear sky last night was the hope I needed that Spring will be here soon. Once the Worm Moon comes ‘round, Spring isn’t far behind!
A day with the butterflies | After what has to be the toughest February in a long time, Joel & I had a little date day at Frederik Meijer Gardens. It was the first day of the butterflies & the last day of the womb exhibit, a lovely overlap. I had plans to do a photoshoot here & have everything aligned just so. Then I was out for 2 weeks with sciatic back pain followed by a week of the flu. I had to cancel all plans & contact with others just to get by. Then I found myself watching the butterflies float around me on a sunny Saturday on leap day, after walking through The Womb I thought I’d miss. It was a powerful lesson — I have no control, & I enjoy life a lot more when I stop trying to curate it all just so.
Spring Cleaning | Poor Tiger hates when his Mom removes everything from the cupboards to organize! This winter has been harder than most. I’m very ready for the change of seasons. I want the Moon Lodge to feel refreshed and ready for what’s next. We took a recent weekend to go through all our stuff; put it in piles of alike things, keep what holds meaning & get rid of the rest. We’re halfway there and I already feel lighter! Tiger’s not-so-patiently waiting for his living room back.
International Women’s Day | I have a little sidekick with me for IWD2020! In the last couple of years, I’ve put a lot of energy into holding space for creative women in my local community I admire on this special day. This year I was happy to keep that energy inward for our little girl we’re expecting this Summer. I’m starting to understand there are seasons for giving outward, and seasons for giving inward. This season is within completely. I didn’t know how much I needed it until now. We had breakfast at our favorite place talking about dreams, projects, and each other that only slow Sundays can bring out in you. I think my brother said it best when he said, “It’s like you’re 2 women in 1 right now!”
Currently
Reading | Last of the Amazons by Steven Pressfield
Listening | Legendary Women of Country playlist
Watching | Grace & Frankie, love this show so much!
To be very honest, I don’t feel like myself lately. What used to fill me up isn’t doing it right now. Things I attached so deeply to my identity I’m no longer identifying with. It’s making for a lot of chaos, inner turmoil, and plenty of tears. In 2020 I’ll be 30 years old and a first-time mother — feeling reflective, nostalgic, physical discomfort, joyful, & like I’m being let in on a sacred secret of life I’ve never known before. It’s a fucking wild ride & it’s shifting everything I’ve ever known. It’s making me wonder if having a public space like this blog to explore my unfolding as I go is really the healthiest thing for me. Who wants to look back on their 20’s and see all the vulnerabilities they were trying to work out when you don’t feel like that girl anymore? What used to make me proud now makes me feel exposed. I don’t know if this means it’s time to hang my hat on self-publishing in this format or if I just need to give myself space during this season of inward & see what answer comes to me. One thing is for certain, the more I look to Grandmother Moon, the more I trust in her guidance to know what’s right for me. You can see all full moon posts here.
Happy Full Moon, friends! xo, Em
