Sunday Linen 01: Cabin Fever

It was a cabin fever weekend if I ever saw one. We barely set foot outside as the snow fell heavy. Only caught the cool air when I let Tiger outside, then inside, outside again. Our days are defined by the times we let the dog in & out. Or in this weekend’s case the pace at which Joel switched the laundry from washer to dryer, the dirty dishes from the sink to dishwasher, cookies in the oven until the timer dinged.

Let the candle burn all day until she let her own flame out.

I tussled at length with my weekday mindset. Always worth the fight to keep your true nature in check. It’s harder now to do so though. My self is no longer the only priority. This little one demanding space in my swollen belly has something to say now too. I take pride in my intuition, that gut feeling. Is it harder to hear because it’s full of hope & heartbeat?

The signals are getting crossed, enough to knock me off balance by the hour. Enough to know half a dozen cookies will satisfy me, the apple should satisfy experts defining what makes a good mom — I have both so her & I will be happy. It’s not logic, it’s what gets me to the next meal. The next big decision.

I look at my shape in the mirror as I walk past, glimpse the little home holding her tight until she’s ready to meet me. I smile, finally. Looks like my gut has it under control. Doesn’t need my mind to worry one bit. The process is in motion. I can either get on board or miss out on this entire season completely.

I’m not one to forfeit a good time.